All the girls on my team are pretty good about the no crewcest thing, except this one girl, who keeps hooking up with many of the guys on the team and the team is slowly dying as a result. I’ve told her this would happen, but she doesn’t seem to care. The coach can’t really do anything, as its always after practice hours. Also, I feel for her, the team is more of a place to get guys than to actually improve her rowing and get faster. Any advice?
If the team really is being affected by her “extracurricular activities” then the coaches should say something. If she was doing this outside of practice with no effect on the atmosphere at practice then whatever but that doesn’t sound like it’s the case. Granted, if they do know what’s going on then they might not have any idea how to bring it up to her, especially if they’re men and especially if you’re in high school, so I guess I wouldn’t exactly blame them for not addressing it.
As her teammates you definitely have a right to be annoyed at her for playing a part in messing with the team culture but at the same time, you can’t put all the blame on her. Has anyone told the guys on the team to maybe, oh I donno, stop hooking up with her? It’s a two way street so if something is being said to her, something should also be being said to the guys. If they all want to hook up and cause drama and whatever else, by all means go for it but don’t bring all of that to practice. If that’s what you’re going to do then there’s no place on the team for you, plain and simple. Without getting into the dirty details, that’s really all your coaches need to say. I’d have no problem asking someone to leave the team if they disregarded that rule/request. Everyone else is there to make boats go fast and it’s hard to do that and build camaraderie with each other if everyone is constantly acting weird or giving off that awkward “morning after” attitude.
In the end, everyone is going to do what they want to do. The only thing you can ask of them is to stop bringing all the unnecessary drama to practice and be respectful of their teammates who just want to row. Point out to them how their actions are affecting the team and hope that from there they’ll recognize that they either need to stop or keep whatever’s going on amongst themselves and not the business of everyone else on the team.